Happiness and Peace Just Because! 8/24/09

I recently had the opportunity to reconnect with old schoolmates. I spent a great deal of time with an old friend that once brought me great joy during a tumultuous period of my life - the teenage years.

Of course, over time, I had changed a lot and so had she. Where I had become a happy, connected & in the flow individual she had become depressed, miserable & pessimistic.

It made me think about the course of my life and how I too was once like her but how I had overcome the dilemma & now enjoy happiness and peace just because.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I made the decision to change and I believed I could change. I was simply sick and tired of being sad, fearful, and feeling separate from the rest of the world. I wanted more and so my journey began.

After great soul searching, I realized that I always looked for something outside of myself to make me happy when the only real thing that was a constant in my life was me. That meant having to take 100% responsibility for my joy.

How I wondered did some people have that joy when others in the very same circumstances were depressed or angry?

What I found out after a great deal of research was this. Happiness is partly genetic and partly learned. That made a lot of sense to me having come from a family where depression and addiction reined. I realized I came out a loser on both counts.

Here’s the good news though. Genetics, DNA, once thought to be impossible to change, can be reprogrammed and new things can always be learned. Having always been someone that believed in life long learning I knew there was hope.

How did I go from misery to joy? How did I reprogram my mind? We think over 100,000 thoughts a day and most of those are negative. How did I go from there to filling my mind with happy thoughts & feeling joy just because?

The 1^st step was the desire to do so; I call this the Power of Persistent Desire. It was my goal to be happy and at peace no matter what. I kept that desire in the forefront of my mind.

I thought about peace and happiness. I told everyone that my #1 goal was peace and happiness. The more I thought and said these things, the more excited I got, and guess what…the happier and more at peace I became. Just by thinking and saying those things I started experiencing them. That was a start.

Next, I started examining the thoughts I had. I realized that most of them had no warrant and they were not true, yet I kept thinking them over and over. I realized I needed to stop believing my own foolish thinking. But if I didn’t think those things what would I replace them with?

I began to look at everything I really did have to be grateful for. At 1^st this was difficult because I realized how very much I took for granted. I became grateful to be alive, grateful that my heart beat, grateful that the sun was shining, grateful that I had children to love and enjoy, grateful that I had a table to eat dinner on, grateful that the blouse I wanted to wear was clean, grateful to sit and enjoy dinner with my family…you get the gist. Gratitude lightens your spirit and lightens your load.

Next, I started to let go of negative thoughts and as I was aware of these I replaced them with positive. Again, this was not always so easy. A good deck of meditation cards or a set of positive affirmations can help until you are capable of coming up with your own.

Many of my thoughts had to do with blaming others for my situation. I realized I had to forgive. I didn’t want to do it for them. I couldn’t do it for them, especially at 1st; I had to do it for me. I once heard someone say that anger towards others is like drinking poison and expecting them to die. It kills us from the inside out.

Another important step for me, believing in the Law of Attraction, was my vision. I needed a clear image of what I would look like if I were happy and at peace…from the clothes I would be wearing, to my stance, to the things I would be doing, to the sounds I would hear. I needed to know what happiness and peace looked like to me so I would know when I attained it.

The road to Happiness and Peace Just Because is one worthy of your time and efforts and one very possible for you to achieve. Sometimes we need help along the way, a little guidance, a little direction. I’m here if you need a question answered or are interested in obtaining someone to coach you along the way. Until next time…Laney Ray